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Hannah Baillie, Editor in Chief, 90Second Caregiver
Patrick McGrath, OC, PhD, FRSC, Principal Scientist - 90Second Caregiver

Ambiguous Loss
Ambiguous Loss...
A loss without closure

Do you feel like the person you care for is physically present but psychologically absent? If so, you might be experiencing ambiguous loss. This is a common feeling for caregivers. Even though the person you care for is still alive after a brain injury, you may grieve for the person that they once were. 

The person you care for may experience a change in personality or behaviour. They may not remember important personal moments from the past. Finding closure through these changes can be very difficult for friends and family. The grieving process can be confusing. When a person dies, there are funerals, burials, or other rituals to assist in mourning. There are no such rituals for psychological losses. However, there are steps you can take to ease your grief.

 

... CALL TO ACTION...

Look for the good

The person you care for may have a different personality, but all changes may not be bad. Look for positive changes. Perhaps they are more frugal, or more independent. Commending good changes can help you re-build a relationship with the person you care for, even if it is a different relationship.


Act natural

When someone we know goes through a traumatic event, we tend to treat them as fragile or immature. Try to avoid treating the person you care for this way. Respect them and give them independence in the areas where they can be independent. 


Give it some time

At the beginning, the person you care for may feel like a stranger. This feeling may fade or go away with time. Appreciate the person you care for for who they are now. As you get to know their new personality, you will be more comfortable around them. 


Look for the good

The person you care for may have a different personality, but all changes may not be bad. Look for positive changes. Perhaps they are more frugal, or more independent. Commending good changes can help you re-build a relationship with the person you care for, even if it is a different relationship.


Act natural

When someone we know goes through a traumatic event, we tend to treat them as fragile or immature. Try to avoid treating the person you care for this way. Respect them and give them independence in the areas where they can be independent. 


Give it some time

At the beginning, the person you care for may feel like a stranger. This feeling may fade or go away with time. Appreciate the person you care for for who they are now. As you get to know their new personality, you will be more comfortable around them. 


A loss without closure

Do you feel like the person you care for is physically present but psychologically absent? If so, you might be experiencing ambiguous loss. This is a common feeling for caregivers. Even though the person you care for is still alive after a brain injury, you may grieve for the person that they once were. 

The person you care for may experience a change in personality or behaviour. They may not remember important personal moments from the past. Finding closure through these changes can be very difficult for friends and family. The grieving process can be confusing. When a person dies, there are funerals, burials, or other rituals to assist in mourning. There are no such rituals for psychological losses. However, there are steps you can take to ease your grief.

 
Image

A loss without closure

Do you feel like the person you care for is physically present but psychologically absent? If so, you might be experiencing ambiguous loss. This is a common feeling for caregivers. Even though the person you care for is still alive after a brain injury, you may grieve for the person that they once were. 

The person you care for may experience a change in personality or behaviour. They may not remember important personal moments from the past. Finding closure through these changes can be very difficult for friends and family. The grieving process can be confusing. When a person dies, there are funerals, burials, or other rituals to assist in mourning. There are no such rituals for psychological losses. However, there are steps you can take to ease your grief.

 

CALL TO ACTION

Look for the good

The person you care for may have a different personality, but all changes may not be bad. Look for positive changes. Perhaps they are more frugal, or more independent. Commending good changes can help you re-build a relationship with the person you care for, even if it is a different relationship.


Act natural

When someone we know goes through a traumatic event, we tend to treat them as fragile or immature. Try to avoid treating the person you care for this way. Respect them and give them independence in the areas where they can be independent. 


Give it some time

At the beginning, the person you care for may feel like a stranger. This feeling may fade or go away with time. Appreciate the person you care for for who they are now. As you get to know their new personality, you will be more comfortable around them. 


Look for the good

The person you care for may have a different personality, but all changes may not be bad. Look for positive changes. Perhaps they are more frugal, or more independent. Commending good changes can help you re-build a relationship with the person you care for, even if it is a different relationship.


Act natural

When someone we know goes through a traumatic event, we tend to treat them as fragile or immature. Try to avoid treating the person you care for this way. Respect them and give them independence in the areas where they can be independent. 


Give it some time

At the beginning, the person you care for may feel like a stranger. This feeling may fade or go away with time. Appreciate the person you care for for who they are now. As you get to know their new personality, you will be more comfortable around them. 


assessment, when selecting options, 1 is false, 5 is true.I feel like I don’t recognize the person that I am caring for. please select an option..Every day I wish that I could have the old person back. please select an option..Reflecting on old memories makes me upset. please select an option..I find it hard to deal with the changes in the person I care for.please select an option..I have to change my actions to suit the new personality of the person I care for.please select an option..I sometimes have feelings of anger/resentment toward the person I care for.please select an option..I feel that I will never be able to accept what happened, or have closure.please select an option.. Please submit the form to get your assessment.
Personal Story. Personal Story.

My 14-year-old son and husband were in a car accident a few years ago. Although my son escaped with only mild injuries, my husband faced a severe traumatic brain injury. At the hospital, we were told he may not live, and if he did, he would not be the same man he once was. As the weeks went on, everyone told us how lucky we were that my husband survived the accident. But it never felt as though we were lucky. It felt like I wasn’t a wife anymore, that I'd really lost my husband. The man I am married to now is a different man than I stood at the altar with 20 years ago. My son is having difficulty getting past the tragedy. It is hard for him to understand his father’s personality changes. We are unable to grieve the loss of our family member because he is still here, but it feels as though he isn’t. Bit by bit we are learning to accept him as the person he is. It's like getting to know a new person but it has gotten better over time. I expect it to keep getting better with more time.

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